Whatever you do in life,

Remember these simple rules:

1. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
2. There is no 'ctrl' key on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
3. Apple gives Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
4. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
5. Chuck Norris CAN eat just one Lay's potato chip.
6. Chuck Norris is suing MySpace for taking the name for what he calls everything around you.
7. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table of elements because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
8. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
9. Chuck Norris doesn't shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
10. Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.